Monday, January 9, 2012

Savoring my SAHM Status

I've always known that staying home with the kids was not a permanent status in my life, and I have always been okay with that. I went to college right after high school, got my degree in elementary education, taught school for almost ten years, then my husband and I decided to grow our family.  I resigned from my position after the first semester in 2006, and began the journey of being a Stay home mom.

There were days when I was so enthralled with my newborn son, that my husband would come home from work only to find me un-showered and frazzled. Other days when he'd open the door to the scent of a savory new dish I had time to work on. Then the days when I was terribly lonely, and my thoughts mostly were, "I cannot wait until he (my son) is out of diapers and he can do things for himself, and I can go back to work."

When he was six months old, I conceived my second child, and was terrified at the prospect of raising two babies at the same time. I remember when I saw the positive sign on my pregnancy test I was stunned silent. I don't even think I spoke at all that entire day. Shocked would be an understatement.

My daughter was born when my son was 14 months old. He took his first steps while I was in the hospital with her. Bringing my little newborn daughter home and caring for a barely walking, barely speaking toddler was almost more than I could bare. The days were many when my husband would come home to a messy house and a pile of unfolded laundry...an exhausted momma.

My thoughts were mostly fantasies of getting in the vehicle and driving off into the sunset...just me...and then the desire for both children to be out of diapers, both speaking, both doing for themselves...and when oh when would I get to finally go back to work?

~~~~~~ Fast forward to the present.

You really couldn't say I have toddlers any longer. We just celebrated my little man's 5th birthday in December, and my little lady will be 4 early spring. They play together so nicely, I enjoy intelligent conversations with each of them, and they will be attending school in September. Just 8 months away from now. Just 8 months to sleep in and make breakfast and watch Disney Junior in the mornings.

How I would turn back time, to snuggle a thick black haired newborn close to my chest again! But those days are just memories, and I must make new ones, so I am savoring my status for these last 8 months.

Instead of serving breakfast in a flurry of frantic kitchen cleaning, I am purposefully making the moments count. I make a place setting for myself, I sit across from a sweet curly haired thoughtful little boy. We talk about machines and how he wants to grow up to be a man who takes cars apart for people and put new parts in and put them back together.

I enjoy my egg and veggie omelet, take a sip of coffee and whisper a thank-you to God for this moment. For the way He has provided for our little family on one income. How gracious He has been to us, to provide and meet even the smallest needs in unexpected ways. Allowing for me to be here now, in this moment at the table with them.

My little lady sops up her "gooey" egg with toast. She's adventurous, creative, wild at heart. She tells me that she's going to be an animal doctor and drive a mini van and then be a chef and have lots of babies. We giggle as they start singing a song they made up about their baby cars. I am blessed. I clean up their plates and they run off to play...their song inspiring the sounds of hot wheels being dumped onto bedroom floors. This is how these months will flow. Stopping to relish the mundane...to savor my status.



Grace Laced Mondays


Every Monday, you will see posts labeled "Grace Laced Mondays" It's a blog link up and blogging challenge by my friend Ruth over at www.gracelaced.com . If you want to participate, DO! :)






6 comments:

  1. This reminds me so much of my early days. Rushing to get them raised so that I could get back to "my" life. They are my life. God purposely put them in my life at the time of His choosing for my good and His glory. It's been rough many, many times, but how I wish I could put the brakes on now.

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  2. Thanks for sharing this, Jenn. I think we all can relate and love knowing that others have found joy in motherhood as well. I'm so glad to see a bit into your heart. :)

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  3. Loved the post. I'm guilty of wishing her "grown up" too soon, and find myself having to stop and remember I'll miss it when it's gone, and there's only one chance to experience now. :) Thanks for sharing!

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  4. This made me recall sitting in the rocking chair, holding my son and staring at him. Just staring. My husband walked in the door and, startled, I said "What time is it?" He said 4:45. I was still in my pajamas and teeth unbrushed. I had honestly stared at him all day. Thank you for that memory!!

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  5. This is is like a window into the future for me! Makes me want to savor my SAHM status today and every. single. day:) I pray you will be blessed as you enjoy these last special months with your littles. Thanks for sharing your heart!

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  6. This is really good. Thank you for sharing it. I came over from Grace Laced. Kelly

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